Mucho Awesome
isn't opposed to using margarine
doesn't recycle
makes love like a ravenous monkey
chews the fat and spits out the meat
walks like he knows where he's going
retains all copyrights
isn't associated with any associations
flies first class on second class airlines
speaks Spanish even though he doesn't know how
begins every sentence with a question
leaves before he gets there
has no need to negotiate
loves checkers but hates people that play chess
buys the generic brand of every thing at his local market
despises Bob Dylan
carrys around a flask his mother made for him in an online metal-making class
wears a ring on his right pinky his sweetheart gave to him in the 5th grade
hates antelope, but absolutely adores beaver
never pays retail
never thinks, because it makes him sleepy
stays in shape by doing watersports 3X a week
has no interest in learning cursive
tells you what to do after you've done it, to make you feel good about yourself
doesn't have a problem throwing a cocktail party for noone
thinks "work commute" means having to walk to the bar for a drink
knows you love him, even though you never met
is terrified of magnets
never watches reruns
irons his clothes while they're still on
pees sitting down
files his taxes twice a year
forgets more than he learns
can throw a baseball over a mountain
finishes at the starting line
predicts your future, then kicks your ass
never flushes twice
forms incredibly complex thoughts in his mind, then expresses himself with single words he's retained from reading comic books
has a suspicion towards people who drive on the right
loves soccer, but hates riots
thinks prepositional phrases are for girls
his mother was a dyslexic
ashamed to admit he was born and raised in Mansville
gets sweaty palms whenever he gets haircut
joined a gym to talk to girls,but has a strict workout regimen at home
always on the lookout for a perfect girl to have a perfect seed
posted by Bob MacNeil @ 11:24 AM
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